Tuesday, December 30, 2008

40 days and counting!

So my niece was born this past weekend so I am a proud auntie again to miss Taylor Reese. She is beautiful and I love the name too.

So tomorrow is New Years Eve can you believe it is almost January of 2009. I can not. That means Sean is almost 3:(. My baby is no longer a baby but a big boy:)

Sean's 3rd birthday is only 40 days away where did the time go? I have been an emotional wreck about Sean turning 3 and not having another baby already. I know I know it would help if we actual try harder and time it, instead of just "trying"

But I am so scared of trying and everything we have been through with Sean. The 4 weeks of bed rest, him being 7 weeks early, the nicu, and nicu stay. Not being able to hold my baby for 48 hours after he was born, to not letting me have him in my room at the hospital, to have to leave the hospital with out him. For the struggles, and medical tests, procedures, dx's (the stroke, the epilepsy, the mild rh cp, the closed lip schiz., and all of the therapy. I don't know how I could handle this times two if we had too. I know we would some how some way because God only gives us what we can handle.

But what do I do. How to I overcome how scared I am? The hardest thing in my life was to leave Sean in the hospital and have to leave the maternity ward in a wheel chair with an empty car seat.

Uh the emotions.................................

On another note we still have not gotten our theratogs that were ordered um in OCTOBER! Hello where are you? Supposedly they will be here soon. We will see I GUESS!


Amanda said...

First of all, Congrats on your neice! How exciting!

Sean really is getting to be a big boy! He's just adorable!

It's actually interesting that you posted this, because I was planning an "another baby" post for later this week. I have no advice on how to get over the fears of it all, because I'm right there with you. All I keep thinking, is what if this happens all over again? I want more children (not yet, but soon!) but my fear is overwhelming.

You wrote:
"I know we would some how some way because God only gives us what we can handle."

I completley agree with this and couldn't have said it better myself. Everything happens for a reason.

Good luck!

rachael said...

congratulations on the birth of your niece! welcome to the world taylor reese! (sorry that rhymed...cheesy)

i wish that i could say more, but the only real advice i have is that you just have to let go, have faith and jump in; trusting that God won't give you more than you can handle.

good luck with everything!

Chele said...

CONGRATS on the new neice!

I have a friend that was freaking because her son was turning three and she hadn't conceived yet either. Jill did conceive before Nico turned 4.

As for being scared, it's perfectly normal. My first pregnancy was one complication after another. I was on bed rest more than half of the pregnancy, had UTI infections the whole pregnancy, hypermesis until the 21 week, hospitalized for a couple of weeks for pre-eclampsia and out of control migraines and Derek was born by c-section 6 weeks early because my blood pressure was off the charts. Then Derek ended up needing exploratory surgery at 3 weeks to remove a web of tissue blocking his intestines. I was scared spitless when we conceived Jake, when Derek was only 4 months old. Birth control isn't something that works for me. lol. That pregnancy was nothing like my first one and pretty smooth except for a diagnosis of placena previa because Jake implanted so far down in my uterus. Neither Jake or I had any complications from it. Just because one pregnancy was difficult and complicated does not necessary mean the second one will be. The fear will be there until you are pg and things are going smoothly. Then it goes away and you are able to enjoy the pregnancy. ++++ vibes you conceive soon.

sarah said...

Girl, you know I'm right there with ya! The thought of these things happening again is scary, but it's weird... I'm less worried about the second pregnancy and baby, and more worried about Avery's future being impacted by another child. Will it be better? Will she resent the "healthy" sibling? Ugh...very stressful.

But I sort of think that moms like us are SO tough now... we can handle anything life throws at us. :)

Erin said...

Thanks ladies for the encouragement!

Anonymous said...

Glad to hear Sean is doing well.
He is a cutie.

You have the courage to share your story, raise money for research, and be a mother to Sean.

As far as another baby, Sean has given you more strength that you ever knew you had -- so I say go for it and accept the path that God sends you on.

jag said...

Congrats on your new Niece! How exciting. I'm kind of at a loss on what to say. I can offer prayers and my empathy. I know what it's like to have to visit your baby in the hospital. It's not exactly how you always pictured it would be. But, it's so awesome that our babies are here! What miracles. I pray you get peace of mind with this. You're blog is great and such fun to visit!

Christine said...

Congratulations on the new Niece Erin!!! Happy New Years to you and your Family.

Mommy07 said...

Hey! I can totally relate, being pregnant again is so so sooo scary and for me the labor and delivery is even scarier now. I honestly don't know how I will cope until the day comes but I do know that it will be worth it, and as I like to say " lightening doesn't strike twice"!
No great words of wisdom, just empathy =)

therextras said...

Lots of support and wisdom already here.

I am hoping you will show photos of him in his TherTogs - and what you think about them.