update on us

I haven't been on here for awhile as most of you can see because of lack of posts. Well I am sad to say we lost our sweet baby girl almost 8 weeks ago. I can not believe she is gone, I am an emotional mess and my life has forever changed. I am in the process of starting a new blog to share my emotions, thoughts, fears, and my new life with you there.

My blog will be located at:

http://shegrewwings.blogspot.com/

I hope you will join me on my on new emotional healing process

34 weeks pregnant

I can not believe I am already over 34 weeks pregnant. Time has flown by. I only have two more 17P Progesterone shots (they hurt so bad but they seem to be working so far).

I go to the doctor every week for a NST and I have my next u/s next week. I can not wait to meet our baby girl.

I have only gained 6 lbs so far although I think this week I may have added 2 more to that my feet are swollen again since it has been hot here again. Although by the end of the week I think it is suppose to be back in the 70's.

I can not wait! I hope everyone is doing well, sorry I haven't posted in awhile life has been crazy with going back to work, daycare, therapy, doctors visits, and being so pregnant!

Tball, and more

So Sean started Tball a few weeks ago the first game was a little rough but with each game he is getting better and better.

It is so hard to see him run after hitting the ball and fall down. He always gets himself up but I wish he didn't have to fall down either. We are waiting to get his new AFO turbo where we can use it as an AFO or an SMO.

Dr. G. wants us to wear the AFO when he is active which for a 4 year old boy is 100% of the time he is never not active or he never sits still.

We are back to getting PT weekly because of the falling as well. It just stinks that every time he has a growth spurt he gets pushed back the damn strokes fault.

He has to wear dual SMO's right now until we get the new turbo but it will be a few weeks, and he has to wear an AFO night time brace. We have to bribe with stickers and ice cream to get him to wear it all night.

Other than that Sean is doing great we are about to finish this session of swim lessons and we start a new one next Monday but they are moving him up to levels because he can do everything he needs to. He is going to be with 5 and 6 years olds. We had to get special permission to move him up since he is not old enough. We are so proud of him.

As for the baby and I we are hanging in there. I see the doctor every two weeks because I am high risk and I get my shot every week.

We just had an u/s and my cervix is still long, thick, and closed at 4.6cm which is great news. I go back to Loyola for another my f/u u/s on the choroid plexus cyst on her brain in less than a month! I just pray that it is gone.

Until next time here are a few pictures of our little girl.

I don't have PINK EYES

So yep Sean has the fun, and lovely PINK EYE. Went to the doc this AM. The poor guy woke up to his eyes crusted shut.

He kept telling me he didn't want to go to the doctor. But I think that is because I must have freaked him out about it. I had to go to the doctor yesterday for my weekly shot and he was hyperventilating about shots and how he can't go or watch it.

Luckily my aunt was around and could watch him. Next time I guess I will just say mommy has to go to the store so we can go peacefully.

I felt so bad and than since we had to go today he was kicking and screaming too. But he let me put the drops in his eyes so far at least:)

We is getting so big he weighs 44 lbs and is 41 inches!

Its a girl

We are so excited! We just got home a little while ago sorry it was a long day. We had to meet with the geneticist first for an 1.5 and then we had an u/s for an hour. They took over 100 pictures, and then we met with the high risk doctor.

There are no signs of an in utero stroke, or closed lip schizenphaley like my son has which is great news!

However the baby does have a cyst on the brain it is a choroid plexus cyst. They offered and told us to think about an amino. But they said our risks for having a baby with something wrong do to the cyst is 1 in 1000. I don't know what to do or to make of all of this.

We are scared and nervous they told us that the cyst may go away on its own after 24 weeks on. Has anyone ever heard of this or experienced it? What should I do?

I only got a profile shot of the 100 pictures taken:) Babies heart beat was 160 and weighs 10oz!

7 more days

So I still have to wait 7 more days to hopefully hear those joyous words of you are having a healthy baby and it is a boy or it is a girl.

Part of me is so nervous but I can't wait to know if things are still looking okay. The peri that we are going to has seen on u/s what has happened to Sean's brain which is reassuring and frightening all at the same time.

I go for my first 17 P shot this Friday. I was suppose to start this past Friday but I couldn't get the medicine in time. My doctors office only gives them out on Fridays because that is when there are the most nurses in. I am so scared because I know it is going to hurt but I will suck it up to hopefully keep this little one in for as long as possible.

7 days and counting.

I can not believe I am 17 weeks already

Wow has time flown by I can not believe I am 17 weeks already. It is crazy how fast this is going:) The only thing going slow is waiting to go to the high risk peri and know that things are okay and we are having a healthy baby and if the baby is a boy or girl. Only 17 days to go!!!!

I go to my regular OB this week and will be starting the progesterone 17 P shots. I am sure that will be lots of fun, but whatever will hopefully help keep the baby in longer I am game for.

I have not gained any weight as of yet I am still down 8 lbs..... I know the weight will be coming though:)

I am feeling flutters all of the time and I have felt two kicks so far which is nice and reassuring.

Until next time the count down continues............................

Appt with a high risk peri

So we are all set for our first appointment with the high risk peri. They called us and scheduled it for June 1st. We will be going every 4-6 weeks for an u/s and to watch the brain development because of what happened with Sean and the closed lip schizencephaly. We will be going to Loyola where the peri I will be seeing has actually seen this on an u/s before.

The first hour and half will be with a geneticist and the next hour and half will be an u/s and hopefully after they tell us everything is okay we can find out if it will be a little boy or a little girl.

So far things are going pretty well, I have lost 10lbs thanks to being so sick the first three months but now that I am almost 4 months I am feeling much better.

I did the NT u/s and blood work and I am a little nervous about my down syndrome numbers but the doctors told me to not worry about them now because we will be doing another test at 17 weeks and we can go from there.

My NT u/s results were 1.2mm which are good.

My trisomy 13 and 18 were 1:19.501

My down syndrome 1:424 ( every where I have read people have 1 in 10,000, or 1 in 2,000

But I am just going to relax, breath and wait no matter what we will love the child the same it is just nerve racking.

I know some people have odds of 1:100 or less but with Sean my numbers were much higher.

We are going to have a little pumpkin

So you may wonder why I changed my background to pumpkins......

Well we are going to be having a little pumpkin this October!

We are beyond excited I am just about out of my first trimester and baby's heart beat today was great. It was 178, and measuring great so far. I did the NT scan today and I feel pretty good between my regular OB and the high risk Peri that things are going to go more smoothly this time.

I have been sick a lot but every bit is worth it. We are all very excited and Sean is excited to be a big brother too!

More to come soon:)

If you are my face book friend don't post yet that will be coming soon. Thanks:)

Sorry for not posting in so long

Life has been crazy crazy crazy.

Between Sean therapy, school, and being sick on and off I have not had much time for anything. No studying time, no sleeping, and no relaxing.

Between work, school, Patricks surgery this past week life as we know it has been super crazy.

We are on spring break this week and I hope to be able to just relax and enjoy the week. I do have to work a few nights but there is no school for Sean or I.

We have a few play dates planned and some therapy sessions to do.

I have some exciting news I am going to be an Auntie. Sean is going to have a cousin my brother and sister in law are expecting this August. We are so excited!!!

I will post more soon I hope. Not sure if there is anyone out here that still reads this? Here are a few new pictures of Sean I can not believe he is 4 already! Where has the time gone?

Happy 4th Birthday Sean

I can not believe Sean is 4 already! Where has the time gone! Here is a recent family picture of us! My husband never smiles or keeps his eyes open in pictures. At least Sean and I look cute:)

I will post more next week sometime after his party. It is on Valentines Day!

Stuttering

So I have a few questions for bloggers out there, what is the deal with stuttering? Why do kids do it? When did it start for you? When did it stop? And how do you stop it?

Sean has been starting to stutter it has really only happened in the last few weeks. At first we didn't think anything of it but now he is doing it more and more.

I am concerned because is it a sign that something else can be wrong in his brain function or is it just stuttering?

A few people that I have talked to said it could be either. We are waiting to hear back from his speech pathologist from school and a private speech pathologist that specializes in stuttering.

Then after this started he threw up a couple of nights ago for three nights in a row. The scary thing is that it only was happening at night.

I spoke with his pediatrician and he told me not to worry that sometimes kids go through development differently. However everything I look at online about stuttering is that it starts around age 2 or 2.5 and ends by 4.

Sean is about to turn 4 in a week and half.

Am I just be crazy about this or should I push back?

Playing at McDonalds

So today Sean is off of school and he wanted to go to play at McDonald's we went and of course it was crazy because every child is off of school today and wanted to go play at McDonald's.

We were playing just fine until some older kids came and were running all over the place not caring if they ran into the little ones they just pushed them out of the way.

Sean got pushed and pushed hard he fell down and then one of them put his foot on Sean to move up to the next level. Sean was screaming and crying for help. I went and helped him, sure I looked like an overprotective mom for going up the tree house to the next landing to get my child to make sure he was okay.

He is fine more scared then anything. The worse part is the older kids did not say sorry or ask if he was okay but were laughing at him for crying and that his mommy needed to save him. At that point we decided to leave because it was not worth risking them to push him again. BUT the absolute worse part is there MOTHER was there and witnessed the entire thing she was right next to me and she did not ask if he is okay or say sorry for the way my boys acted or yell at them that they need to be more careful. I bit my tongue because I wanted to say your boys are to old to play at McDonald's in a little kid tree house. Some people need to teach there children better manners but I guess in this case the apple didn't fall to far from the tree.

Sean was so upset he cried himself to sleep which he normally NEVER takes naps any more. Poor guy!

Now the waiting game

So I went to the ob today just for my normal check up and he said I am sure I will hear from you soon. Told me to call once I find out and they will check all of my levels and probably put me on progesterone just like last time and than I will get the 17P shots weekly for most of my pregnancy. Now just waiting till test date and AF comes or not. But enjoying the wine and trying to just have fun and relax.

According to my temps I am on DPO 4, AF is due around the 22nd so I am going to try and wait to test until after AF is due. The temps should tell me something hopefully too.

My mother in law was asking tonight when another one will be coming we haven't shared that we are trying with many people so this is where I can write about it. I have a hard time keeping secrets, but I am trying too.

Taking a hurtle and plunging in

So we have decided to start trying for another baby. I know I didn't know when this day was going to come but I am finally not as scared and nervous as I have been since we found out about Sean's stroke and everything else.

So I am on prenatal vitamins a million times more prescription folic acid on top of the prenatals per the high risk ob. Once I get pregnant I will be put on blood thinners to for extra precautions and will be seen by both the regular OB and the High Risk OB. A little more reassuring.

So hears to a new year and new me and not letting myself worry to much and have fun in the making!

Anyone else scared out there? We are about to turn our lives upside down and this picture is so cute of Sean and makes me laugh every time. He was at my aunts house waiting to go sledding! Sean will be 4 years old a month from today I can not believe he is almost 4. He needs a little brother or sister and now that he has less therapy we have to take him to. We take him to two where before it was five and now he gets the other three at school.

And I want to go to nursing school but I have a few more classes before I can get into the program so I would rather have a baby before I get into the program instead of waiting until after which the programs can be either 2-3 years!

So cheers to 2010 and baby making good news:)